This is probably one of the hardest things to do and can unfortunately be the downfall for many relationships. No one WANTS to spend time apart from the person they love but sometimes we are forced to whether its due to a new job or school. In my case, my fiance plays professional basketball in the NBA and is currently on a two-way contract with the Atlanta Hawks. These contracts are new this season and require the athlete to be at the teams “disposal” so to speak. They will send them back and forth from the G-League team (NBA’s minor league) to the big ball club (NBA). Unfortunately for Josh, Atlanta’s G-League team is in Erie, PA so he has quite a ways to travel each time he goes back and forth. As for me, both of those teams are very far away from California so needless to say, I don’t get to see him very often. Once we get married, I will travel with him but for now I’m counting down the days until the season is over!
1. Communication is key.
In all relationships, communication is important but when you are doing long distance it becomes imperative. I found that I would get really upset because I felt like we weren’t talking as often as I would like or our schedules were conflicting. I would then take it out on Josh which isn’t fair. What helped me the most was vocalizing my frustration to him and telling him that I wanted him to make time to chat with me on the phone even if it was just for a few minutes. Texting is so impersonal and in order to really make things work you’ve got to talk on the phone a few times a week at minimum.
2. Facetime is your friend.
Piggy backing off of communication, being able to see your loved ones face when talking to them can ease a lot of heartache. It will never compare to being able to talk to them in person but it can help when you want to share something with them. I had to Facetime Josh when we received our first wedding gift so we could feel like we were opening it together.
3. Making eachother a priority.
Josh is off chasing his dream of being in the NBA (which is amazing) but sometimes I start to feel left out because I’m unable to drop everything and travel to every game. Josh is great about still making me feel like I am the number 1 priority even when he’s got family and friends there in person. On my side, I always make sure to text or call him before his game and wish him good luck because a lot of the time I’m unable to watch his games because I’m at work. I want him to know that he is my number 1 priority as well. And when either of us feels like we aren’t…we COMMUNICATE to the other. It all comes full circle 🙂
4. Stay busy.
This I can’t stress enough. The first time we did long distance was only about 5 months into our relationship and Josh went back home to Alabama for the offseason while I stayed out in California. At the time I had been laid off from my full time job and was only working part time at Lululemon so I had plenty of time on my hands and not a lot of money to go out and keep myself busy. This was when I had the hardest time in our relationship. Even when I was hanging out with my friends I would still be missing him, wishing he was there with everyone. During the week when most people are busy with jobs and staying home, he was out doing things. That was hard for me because I wasn’t comfortable enough to tell him how I was feeling so I would keep everything pent up and then take it out on him and pick little fights. Once I realized that I was picking fights for no reason because I was frustrated, bored and missed him, I broke down and told him and we were able to talk through it. Now, I am working two jobs, starting this blog and planning a wedding so I am VERY busy. It has really been a blessing in disguise because I really don’t have idle time to sit and think about missing him. That would be my biggest piece of advice aside from not being afraid to communicate your feelings, find a hobby or join a softball league or volunteer at your local animal shelter. Anything that will keep your mind occupied in a positive way will help the days apart pass quicker.
In the end if you really love someone you will make it work. The longest I went without seeing Josh was 3 months and despite it being very hard, I knew that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Focus on the day that you will get to see them again and keep a countdown in your planner or on your phone. As the days and weeks tick down you will get more and more excited knowing that you’ll be reunited very soon. For me, the light is that we are getting married in August and I won’t ever have to do long distance again! 🙂